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emilysuzanne
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Name: e m i l y
Metro: Edinburgh
Birthday: 3/3/1983
Gender: Female
Interests: color. b&w.
music.geetar.dance.movies
capturing.the.moment.
recording.writing.singing.
runningfast.waterfalls.
oceans.mountains.
rain.in.my.eyes.
reading.scripture.prayer.
adventure.winning.
living&learning.
miracles.icecream.
doublespressos.traveling.
fashion. hairdos.
sleeping.smiling.laughing.
&... people.
Expertise: Walking in zig zags
Occupation: Artist
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Member Since:
7/12/2003
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| Golden- Switchfoot
She's alone tonight,
With a bitter cup and,
She's undone tonight,
She's all used up,
She's been staring down the demons,
Who've been screaming she's just another so and so,
Another so and so
You are golden,
You are golden, Child
You are golden,
Don't let go,
Don't let go tonight
There's a fear that burns,
Like trash inside
And you're ashamed of the curse,
That burns your eyes
You've been hiding in your bedroom,
Hoping this isn't how the story has to go
It's not the way it goes, It's your book now,
You're Golden,
You are golden, Child
You are golden,
Don't let go,
Don't let go tonight
You're a lonely soul,
In a land of broken hearts
You're far from home,
It's a perfect place to start
So this final verse,
Is a contradiction
And the more we learn,
The less we know
We've been talkin' about a feeling,
We both know inside but couldn't find the words
I couldn't write this verse,
I've seldom been so sure,
'bout anything before
Golden,
You are Golden, Child
You are Golden,
Don't let go,
Don't let go tonight
This world is a dead man down (Golden, you are,)
Every breath is a fading crown we wear, (Golden, Child, you are,)
Like some debilitated king, (Golden, don't let go,)
Don't let go tonight
Earth Spins and the moon goes round' (Golden, you are,)
Green comes from the frozen ground, (Golden, Child, you are,)
And everything will be made new again, (Golden,)
Like freedom and spring, (Golden, Golden,)
Hey, like freedom and spring, (Golden, you are, hey,)
Like freedom and spring (Golden, Child, you are,)
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| I just took an exam. I studied 5 chapters, three fairly large articles and endless lecture notes. It would of been way more doable if I didnt have an equally large exam the following day. Yes, that means tomorrow. I am pretty satisfied that I knew the answer for every question on the test with exception to the '1' that I starred. The essays...I knew almost all the content. How I did? Who knows. I am not good at taking tests..I never have been and I never.... Before I say 'Never WILL,' I think I'll give God the opportunity to change that one. I hate being locked into categories. I cant think of myself that way. It's impossible. I forwent salsa dancing last night so that I could scrape in a few more minutes of studying. I did my best for several hours, while intermittenly making my version of healthy gluten free Thai spaghetti squash and flipping through every single photo in my Picassa albums. It would really be nice if my head wasn't in the books and I could be with people. I think I had to cry a little about it under the glow of my white christmas lights, and to the music of Jennifer Knapp's, "Usher me Down." ...it is at this song where I find myself: Alone, alone is where I'll be
Waiting, waiting so patiently
Escape this little war raging
One Still Small Voice
Come rescue me
Why wait, why wait
Why wait for You to Usher Me Down
Many o, many o, Lord, my God
The wonders that I have found
When You usher me down
Sacrifice and offering
You do not desire of me
I say here I am, You come
As if I ever had to call
Why wait, why wait
Why wait for You to Usher Me Down
Many o, many o, Lord, my God
The wonders that I have found
When You usher me down
Who could replace You?
None I know of
The Throne is Yours alone
Left to stand unshaken
Can't be taken back
Can't be taken back
I have another exam tomorrow & somehow I have to find the inspiration to write, record and perform a song by Thursday. Writing things like this keep me in a linear mode of thinking. It's so easy to fall off the narrow road when I look right or left or stop to look at the view or whatever. My focus is ahead. My heart is steadfast. I am praying for continued proximity to the Giver of living water. For a love that makes my heart beat faster. I'm asking for compassion for my family, my friends & the daily interactions surronding me. I am believing for higher things. That perseverence produces faith. That longsufering is love...That all that He says is true. And all that is true is true for me....
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| i've been missing something for a while
something that i thought i hated
and when i lost it
i thought i was all the better
for my heart
i had put away
and i suffocated all the bitterness
and all the hate
and made it starve
so i never ate
until it was a heart of stone
lately i have been able to cry again.. it's something i haven't been able to do for a very long time.
to not know emotion... to make excuses for pain or love so that you heart no longer feels...to avoid feeling...is nothing to be desired. it is a trap where every relationship and activity is devoid of emotion or worthiness. a cold heart is connected to an empty life.
so i am embracing my vulnerability and i am thankful for feeling.
it is truly a gift...
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Today I was really wondering why I was in Southern California forking out the big bucks to go to one of the best school's in the country. I hear people say all the time, "the Trojan family is real...there is something in the water here." I have see glimpses of this Trojan Family and yeah, it's pretty cool, but I have yet to reap the hard core evidence of it. The other day I helped host a Alumni Dinner for The Thornton Music graduates at the white house you see a few pictures up. Since I cash their checks and charge their credit cards on a regular basis at my on campus job, I know what kind of money these people are made of. Yet there I am, outside of it all, as a student looking in, on this web of networking personalities...most of them being difficult for me to relate to as they all seem to be in their 70s & 80s.
The other night I was at a formal gala at the Omni in downtown LA. I met a man who was so excited I went to USC. He was a graduate himself and had graduated in tow with 3 brothers. He told me USC was the best school in the country, & yet again, "The Trojan Family is real!" I was taken by his kindness and willingness to help me out if I happened to need it one day, this comradeship seems to prevail amongst most Alumni.
I know that USC boasts the top of its class in nearly every single program they offer, whether that be business, communications, cinema, engineering and music...they are amazing... yet I am not fully "submerged" in the culture. I am not a part of a club, nor am I networking like crazy. All these things I hope to do & soon, because two years isn't a lot of time to secure my future...or my contacts.
I am reflecting on & finding it different to break through the newness that is USC and LA, especially coming out of the lifestyle I just did. I need to seize the day & eventually I know that God will open the doors for me. It's inevitable. After all, I am part of the Trojan Family, & the Trojan family is real.
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I finally followed the sun where the sun shines every day. It's more
than I could of hoped...& yet, it is a challenge beyond imagination
to live out here. My sister says you have to always watch your
back...& its true not only in regards to physical safely, but
metaphorically. There is no apathy here. There cannot be indecision. If
you don't know who you are, you will be washed away like the sand on
the shore. There are two pathways, & only one of them...leads to
life.
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